Post by Steve on Jan 12, 2006 23:06:24 GMT -5
Gross Mismanagement Incites Half-Cocked Rebellion in April, 1908
MOSCOW - The office of Czar Nicholas II issued a statement today declaring that a new provisional governement would be headed by the feared pirate and ravashing corsair Blando for the forseeable future.
"Well I think 'pirate' is a little harsh," the captain was quoted as saying in a recent interview. "I'm just trying to get by like everyone else, and if I have to sink a few hundred ships in the icy waters of the North Atlantic and shave men's bellies with rusty razors, then so be it. I mean, that is what you do with drunken sailors, after all." As an afterthought, he narrows his eyes and adds, "But don't get any wise idears about yer lovin' bits and me daughter's bed."
Despite the captain's gruff demeanor, the czar has expressed utmost confidence in his leadership. "I don't see why he shouldn't be allowed to run things," he said of the captain, who is rumoured to be a former German nationalist. "I mean, c'mon, it's not like he has my family held at sword-point on a ship somewhere in the Barrents. It's not like I'm asking - no, pleading for help. I mean c'mon, that's just silly."
Silly would be one way of putting it, but another would be outright bizarre. The czar's ministers are at a loss to explain the reasoning behind relinquishing the throne to a rag-tag band of Socialist pirates, but for the time being, they have aligned themselves with the new powers. The only thing that is certain at this point is that there will be interesting times ahead for the people of Russia and her neighbours.
MOSCOW - The office of Czar Nicholas II issued a statement today declaring that a new provisional governement would be headed by the feared pirate and ravashing corsair Blando for the forseeable future.
"Well I think 'pirate' is a little harsh," the captain was quoted as saying in a recent interview. "I'm just trying to get by like everyone else, and if I have to sink a few hundred ships in the icy waters of the North Atlantic and shave men's bellies with rusty razors, then so be it. I mean, that is what you do with drunken sailors, after all." As an afterthought, he narrows his eyes and adds, "But don't get any wise idears about yer lovin' bits and me daughter's bed."
Despite the captain's gruff demeanor, the czar has expressed utmost confidence in his leadership. "I don't see why he shouldn't be allowed to run things," he said of the captain, who is rumoured to be a former German nationalist. "I mean, c'mon, it's not like he has my family held at sword-point on a ship somewhere in the Barrents. It's not like I'm asking - no, pleading for help. I mean c'mon, that's just silly."
Silly would be one way of putting it, but another would be outright bizarre. The czar's ministers are at a loss to explain the reasoning behind relinquishing the throne to a rag-tag band of Socialist pirates, but for the time being, they have aligned themselves with the new powers. The only thing that is certain at this point is that there will be interesting times ahead for the people of Russia and her neighbours.